I realize
that I've been quite silent on the cyber side of life over the last thirteen weeks. It isn't because I've been disinterested
in all things digital. Quite the contrary. Freelance work has captured my attention, speaking at women's retreats provided
a sweet opportunity to encourage the hearts of women, a new book release was celebrated (Verses We Know by Heart: NT Edition)
and a wonderful mission experience to Ecuador revived my heart for God.
Yet in the midst of daily life and hectic
schedules, God has begun a work in me. A new work. An unexpected work. One I begin to share with you while experiencing a
bit of trepidation. Why? Because it is a path I've begun to tip toe out on many times before, only to fail miserably.
Really? Fail miserably? Hmm. When I say such things to my hubby, he asks me if it is really failure. Sure, I miss the mark,
but his point is this: what did I really want? Did I really want to change, or just do what I want? If I was set on acting
like I wanted to change, but deep down I really wanted to rebel and have my own way instead, then I didn't really fail did
I? After all, I got exactly what my rebellious heart wanted.
Successful rebellion. Ouch. Thank you, Lord for revealing
the truth of my wayward heart through the one person that can get away with such upfront truth. He's absolutely right.
Ok, so with God revealing the heart attitudes and rebellious spirit that has lurked since childhood, I have been faced
with the ugly truth. I've spent a lifetime loving sin. Relishing in it as I deny, make every excuse, and justify with whitewashed
stories that became as flimsy as the whitewashed walls in scripture. Forgive me, Lord.
I've grown in my walk with
the Lord in so many other areas of life, so why, oh why, dear Lord do I have to submit THIS vice (aka sin) to you? Why do
I have to lay this comfort zone at your feet? I have to guard my mind and heart lest I become like Lot's wife who looks longingly
back at the sinful comfort of the worldly things she will leave behind. I'm determined to press forward, as God has given
me the desire and the power (Phil. 2:13) to tackle this bondage once and for all - never going back to the chains that I've
placed on my own life for so long.
So, thirteen weeks later, God has taken this one thing - this one area of my life - and completely transformed it for His glory. No longer is my motivation
propelled by the desire to look good, or to simply whitewash the exterior of my life with a better physique or more approval
from man. No longer is the issue about self - it has become all about glorifying God in my body. Completely. Living as the
living sacrifice He is calling me to be - in every area.
Not just the segments of life that I want to address,
ignoring the addition to sin and self indulgence that has been cultivated for a lifetime. Nope. He has called on me to lay
down this very issue that has become the little blue blanket I carry around like Linus. No more. I've given it to God, and
only He can and will help me keep from reaching into the giveaway bag to cuddle that blue fuzzy sin again. It's done. I'm
pursuing righteousness in this area. Period.
It's taken a lot to get to this point. It will take even more strength,
prayers, accountability and daily right choices to keep on this path. God had to clear out a bunch of other spiritual junk
I'd had lying around in dormat places of my heart for far too long - things that were stuffed deep inside my mind, causing
me to reach for the comfort of worldly things rather than reaching for the freedom that comes from forgiveness and allowing
Jesus to be Lord of those issues. Well, friend, I'm excited to share that I have cleared out those cobwebs and storage boxes,
and because of that freedom and forgiveness, God has been able to move on to this issue I'm describing today. It's all connected.
All a part of the transforming process of sanctification in my life.
I know that I know that if I had initiated
this thing in my own strength, for fleshly reasons, I would have failed like every other attempt. I would have chosen the
world over righteousness every time. I would have found the solution to be complete depravity and torture.
Instead,
through the leading of the Holy Spirit, in His timing and purpose for my life, I am finding freedom. Ease in following the
right choices. Strength in knowing that my friends will hold me accountable. Rather than allowing them to ask me any surface
question about any sin they see (flesh consequences) I am asking them to simply, but firmly, ask me if I have talked to God
about that choice. I'm not claiming complete victory today, because I know that true victory will only occur through a lifechanging
shift in thinking. A transformed mind. A long-term focus on God over everything else. Never looking back.
See,
it's between me and God. You have your own things that He wants to cleanse from your soul and spirit. He will have something
new for you and me once we are victoriously transformed in today's one thing,
but until then, God will focus on this thing until we see it through.
I won't go into detail about my issue, because
if I do, human nature will rise up and there will be a bunch of people who jump on the bandwagon, wanting to succeed in the
same area - simply because they like the external changes they might see in my life. Well, if that happens, my testimony has
failed.
My heart is to see you seek God and find out what is on HIS heart - not mine or even yours. Find out the
area that He wants to work, and join Him there. Allow the truth of God's perfect will to carve out the sinful habits, denial
and patterns of the world that have engulfed you - no matter what the issue is.
Then, dear friends, together we
can truly praise God that He is giving us the desire and the power to pursue righteousness. We will find ourselves walking
together on this path to holiness, steadfast in our resolve that we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Though
He loves us all equally, He equally loves us right where we are. Not only where someone else is (thank God) or not only where
we will someday be. But right here, right now, in the midst of our one thing
- the thing He's had enough of, and wants to show you how to have freedom from.
Are you ready? Will you join me?
Not on my quest, but on your own. Will you enter the greatest race of your life, grab the ticket God gives you, and come along
side me as we press on towards the goal?
